you see life is a crazy thing there'll be good times and there'll be bad times and everything in between

my friend told me (3 weeks ago but the situation has changed alot since then but still.) that i'm not getting better. to quote he said "you're not getting better. as in your sad frequencies are not that often anymore but when you're sad, you're still as sad" i think i agree because yes because. i should be happy now in fact i should be really happy but i'm so paranoid these days i think leroy infected me with his paranoia haha this feeling of insecurity + paranoia holy shit too intense. too intense for a carefree girl like me. i've always lived my life with....... no worries/any emotion too negative except the occasional assignment deadline hahah or being short on cash haha trivial matters and nothing very sad/bad have happened that has made me feel anything......less than happy all the time. yes i know i am blessed and i am grateful for my life. so these new feelings are very.......alien to me. alien bad man, not even alien good sigh.