'mistletoe' came on and obviously i think of christmas and..........i teared. christmas is my favourite festive season and now i'm just not looking forward to it at all this is so fucking sad sigh

to friends of the opposite sex!

"babe dont cry everything will be ok"
"what is everything?"
"things will work out eventually"

which brings me to- what is things? my feelings for him? his feelings for me? our relationship?

yknw its honestly so amazing how i can be so strong for someone else, but can't do the same for myself, like i need someone else to tell me the exact same things i tell him. the.exact.same.thing. the irony........haha anyhowwwwwww just now saw me crying to a guy friend whom im not thatttttttttt close to (i mean, we are close but not as close as my main hang that kinda close) and surprisingly, he didn't freak out hahahahaha that's kinda amazing, no? now im amazed lol. actually now that i think about it the only guys (apart from... yeah) i've ever cried in front of comfortably without feeling like im making things awkward or uncomfortable are like, glen and noor.... and now i can add igen to that list lol weirdo...... i think it says alot about a relationship you share with someone when you can just...........let go. now that i think about it again (hahahahaha) they are also the only guys' house i go to, go to their room and just open the cupboard and take a pants i feel comfortable in and just change (of course not in their presence) LOLOLOL HAHAHAHAHA #kudostofriendshipslikethese i think every girl needs at least one guy friend like this. cause they also help you with your boy problems lol and tell you shit a girl would never think to do (bc guys are just.....guys)

and this part is for my dick friend igen since we're on skype now and he says i should write something really nice about him so he can get more action.

Igen is a.........nice person. when he chooses to be. he's brilliant and excellent IF he cares about you. and he's funny and smart. hes an idiot too and acts like a dick most times and when you go 'wherever the wind takes us' with him, you'll most definitely end up in serangoon. (to his advantage) but he knows when to stop (being a dick) and say the right things to cheer a girl up or anyone for that matter. but if he's not into you he's just really not into you. he has good fashion sense and let me just link you guys to his tumblr bc i love his tumblr lol http://kingigen.tumblr.com  i mean girls lets be real over here, a guy who knows his watch and cars and water?! (he drinks fiji) PLUS POINTS TO GUYS WHO KNOW THEIR WATER PLUS PLUS PLUS oh and if all that isn't enough, he drives HAHAHA so girls who wanna sign up, you'll be in for the ride of your life pun intended hahahahaha below is a picture of him and mcflurry

worst feelings I

another one of the worst feelings in the world is helplessness. (but only) when you cant help the people you love with their hardship. it feels like it's eating away at you, you wreck your brains for ideas on how to help, how to make things better, but you come up with nothing. or if you do come up with something, it probably isn't good enough. and when you know disaster will happen, but there's nothing you can do to stop it but stand at the sidelines and watch as it happens. :'( all the pain you feel (or thought you felt) pales in comparison when you think of the pain your loved one is going through.

the first person

The first person you think of when you wake up is either the cause of your happiness or pain. 

saw this the other day on @uberfacts and i got pretty upset because the first person i think of when i wake up, is the cause of both my happiness and pain. So then i was thinking about it, and it actually isn't that sad, because only the person who can make you happy, truly happy, is the one who can really cause you pain, simply because he/she matters. haha like why would irrelevant people even have an effect on you. same shit. So, i think uberfact should change it to The first person you think of when you wake up, is the cause of your happiness and that person is probably also the one who can cause you pain. or vice versa lol.

up up up downnnn and up up downn

things have been going pretty well? mostly because i keep reminding myself he still loves me (more in fact high 5 to myself hehe) and that he's less stingy with his 'i love you's and 'i miss you's, but there's still the occasional down where i just wake up from my sleep and start crying like crazy because i miss him too much lol. at least the bad dreams have stopped yay :) it's too late for regrets now so we're just fixing everything along the way, for a better next time (future sounds too cheesy) yeah i guess that's what we are now, two people in love trying to fix the mistakes we made so im going to end this post off with a cheeky photo tho i dont think he will like this too much haha ;) hehehehehehehehe bye off to buy some brownie keke

that one second

that one second where i just want to give up because it really is too much and then i remember this is the love i want, this is the love we both want, this is the guy i love and you don't give up on the people you love, especially the love of your life. so then i focus on his "it will always be you" confession to me through this difficult time, level up and then try again to bring my beautiful albeit idiotic patience-trying golden boy back.

i'm just gna ask this really nicely

you know where you stand can you please get out of our lives already. walk away. or roll away. roll away please. ROLL AWAY.